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Where do I start? Lets see… Friday January 25th, I worked the 2 pm to 9 pm
shift. I knew I would have no “me” time that morning. My 16 year old M, has anxiety that can be pretty sever at times especially during final exams. He doesn’t always process things in a logical way…. he often “snowballs” (Takes a small amount of fear, the unknown, irrational thoughts and rolls them around in his head until they make a bigger ball) everything and nothing into giant issues that cause him not to sleep (until it is dealt with), become irritable, very difficult and a nervous wreck! Friday was such a day…day one, period one exam. Okay so no sleep, lots of misplaced items, procrastinating, and verbal (language that makes you cringe!). I drove him down the driveway (really long and -22 degrees Celsius) and waited for the bus. A great sigh… on my part, once I saw the bus drive over the hill.
Zeus (dog) and I drove back to house, checked on the chickens threw away the frozen eggs :(. We headed inside to get my breakfast, 2nd cup of coffee and make dinner! So that I could get ready and do the drive (35 minutes one way) to pick M up after the exam, otherwise he would have to hang out from 10:15 am to 3:30 pm when the bus comes. Now this may work for some kids at some schools, but not M or at his school. The school is in the city(We are not), cafeteria is closed (no food), the library is only open until noon and that leaves him to sit in hall (One exam/day) or leave school property. M has ABI and sometimes doesn’t make the best decisions or have a good sense of time.. read in…he may miss the bus if he leaves school property and often needs a buddy to keep him company.
Off I go with Zeus (it’s too cold to lock the old dog up in his outdoor/indoor pen and he destroys everything if left in house) to Guelph. Pick M up and head to Tim Horton’s for drive thru because after anxiety he’s starving! Once home, I pack my dinner, write a note about dinner and head back into Guelph to work.
Sunday was spent working on settings on my blog, laundry, baking and my husband waiting to see if he needed to pull our 18 year old out of the ditch! (A nice guy driving by with a pick up ended up pulling him out.) Yup, G had a 4×4 pick-up truck (3rd road worthy vehicle in 1 1/2 year) was out of work and running out of money fast. So he traded it back to the dealership where he bought it less than 5 months ago… (loan from us while he was working). The dealership owner was amazing and surprisingly he let G trade for a car about $5000 (He paid about $8000 tax in, for truck.. insert head shake!). There were a few options…. only one G wanted to get, of course we advised against it because it was an Infinity G-35 (Power Car for teen boy with ADHD….ugh!), it was rear wheel drive, it (trim) is so close to the ground like inches, and because it uses premium gas! Okay so G’s idea of trading in for more of a fuel economic vehicle was a good idea, but this car is not any of that! He didn’t want to wait until something better came in…. patience and ADHD don’t go hand in hand. We live in a rural area in Canada with snow in winter and lots of ice, slush and dirt roads. (Spells trouble!) Did he listen? No… the dealership threw in snow tires and rims, thank goodness! First few real snows since he got his car and he is in the ditch on Sunday and again on Monday night… I will get to that in a moment. Like I said….Chaos!
Monday, M has no exam so anxiety has been minimal all weekend. He slept in, actually got up as I was leaving to run some errands before work. G’s first day of work at a new job in Kitchener (about an hour drive) and it’s mostly outside. Temperature is -20 degrees Celsius. First big snow storm of the season/year starts early afternoon. G calls to say his boss is sending him home early because roads may close… he complains how bad his car is in the snow (last nights experience in the ditch) and somehow tries to blame me for the snow, winter, and his car…. Sigh…Uggg! I am at work and work hasn’t been a smooth day, certainly not an escape from behaviours/attitudes… did everyone wake up on the wrong side of the bed? M decides to call me on my cell phone to complain about Xbox, lousy internet, and that he doesn’t know how to do his math review for the exam. (It’s supposed to be REVIEW!) G decides to go out once he changed out of work clothes to his girl friends in the biggest snow storm of the year and she lives on another dirt road with a dirt road connecting our road to hers! Yup stupid, dumb, crazy, dangerous, and plainly a DUH moment on his part.
I am at work!
Okay in M’s defense he is so wrapped up in his anxiety starting again… over tomorrows dreaded MATH exam he forgot that I was at work. He actually said, he thought I was upstairs on the computer doing blog stuff (He was in the basement). Like any wife, mom and person at work and not at home; I asked where is your father? M said he was asleep on the couch! Hubby is a carpenter and is currently working on an outside job in really cold sub zero temps with lots of wind and on a roof of a new hospital. M was supposed to wake him up and get help but before that happened… G called and was in the ditch. Or at least he thinks he is… the road and ditch look one in the same. The snow was deep, not plowed yet with a huge bank of snow that turned out to be a drift (Very windy) had covered the road but G thought it was the bank so he went around it and sunk into the ditch. As I ended my shift with great exhaustion a number of calls happened after this… to Dad, to me, to G, to a tow company and to me again. Why is Mom always the one to get the worst of any vent?
Tow truck and G’s car in the ditch….
It took me just over an hour to make it to the stop sign that ends the paved road and begins the dirt road to my house. I sat for another 30 minutes or so… watching the tow truck turn up the other dirt road. I waited for hubby in pick-up-truck and G in his car to make it back to this intersection. I was concerned but I actually stopped here at stop sign because in hubby’s haste to get old truck started he forgot his wallet and tow trucks are not free… actually it was $150 for the pull out. Also my dirt road had not been plowed either… I couldn’t even see my husband’s truck tracks (From 15 minutes before me) in the snow, they were gone! So I waited for them and for some tracks for my SUV to follow home! By the time I paid the tow truck bill I headed to bed at midnight. I had been up since 4:30 am and would wake up at 5 am the next morning when my husband’s alarm goes off…. he is not very quiet and I am a very light sleeper!
Tuesday was a little bit better….. okay maybe not by much. G and Hubby got up and talked (Quite loudly!) how G thought he would be able to get out of driveway no problem….. hubby than came back to our room to tell me as I lay in bed at 5:45 am that if G has trouble he can shovel himself out! M got up at 6 am to have his shower and talk… ramble on about how exams should be illegal, how they are stupid… how math is dumb…etc. He took his shower and had issues with his breakfast, than we got word that buses were cancelled and schools were too! One happy boy! 2 minutes later… G came in from outside bitching about being stuck and how he hated his car, winter, it’s dark, it’s cold and pretty much everything else. I helped dig him out but with the sheet of ice under all the snow he was just spinning his tires. Night before he pulled in mad, tired. fed up and forward facing into non-plowed area of driveway that slopes toward house. He called his boss and missed day 2 of his new job! I made dinner; stew in crock pot for family and quiche for me. Later my friend and her husband came by to pull him out and had coffee with me! (Win for me!) I headed to work shortly after they left.
Wednesday, now this was a better day, I even had a nap! I drove M to bus as it was still really cold. He felt better about math, as both Dad and I had spent some time reviewing it on Tuesday. I woke up sore, stiff, with headache and overall feeling pretty crappy (Before traction). I called in sick. I went to my traction appointment at physio. I have pinched nerves in my neck and from time to time I need to do a couple months of traction on my neck. (Causes soreness and a headache a few hours after, but eventually it feels better) I picked up M after his math exam and got the usual drive-threw lunch at Tim’s for him. I had a nap! Watched t.v., ate stew left overs than went to bed. G went to work at 7 am, spent lots of his day inside because of cold. Came home at 10 pm from girl friends and went to bed. Finally some piece!
Thursday, so cold…. -26 degrees Celsius with the wind -33! Buses cancelled due to deep freeze again! M is so happy! G went to work! I baked cookies and made dinner, had no school run and went to work. Work was another one of those crazy days at month end and although my job is to support people in their everyday lives, today I wish I could have done it without the people!
Friday!! Buses ran today, so M finished his last exam of semester one. Now he gets extra days off; Monday and Tuesday (Previously should have been Thursday and Friday) as a rest day and PD day. before starting Semester two on Wednesday. G went to work… no new issues if you don’t count that he now wants to get rid of this car and see if dealership will trade it in….. @@$%$…OMG!
Okay so It’s been a full chaotic week that I did survived and as much as I would like to think this was a one-off…. I know this is more my reality than not! I have 2 teenage boys that are the love of my life but also cause some of the most unusual stressful situations in my life! From what I have heard and been told (Vented too) it seems that most teenagers (Especially ones with ADHD or anxiety) cause unusually high amounts of stress to their parents. Do your teens do this to you? I would love to hear how you all handle this and WHEN does it end……? I only have boys (I know my oldest one was a pain too, but these 2 younger ones….. oh boy!) in the same ‘generation’ (Other one is 10 years older) but I often wonder if 2 girls are like this too or does it matter if the teen is a girl or boy?